Sunday, October 27, 2013

10th Annual Patterson Pumpkin Carving Contest

That's right. This is the tenth year we have held our annual Patterson Pumpkin Carving Contest (PPCC). We look forward to it every year and each year we stay up into the wee hours of the morning, carving our hopes and dreams into the fleshy orange gourds. It always turns out to be one of the best nights of the year!

To see a review of the pumpkins we've created in the past, go here.

To see last year's pumpkins, go here. 


This year we have two fine contestants for your vote.

Hailing from the rolling patches of West Virginia, Peter Peter is proud to participate in this historic 10th annual contest. Although Mr. Eater does enjoy his occasional squash and gourd (who doesn't?), he is using his new found stardom to set straight all the bad publicity that he has received since the early 1800's wildly popular nursery rhyme. He wants to ensure the public and his fans that he has not had any trouble keeping his wife and that she has never been put inside a pumpkin shell. She lives comfortably in a 4 bedroom on Maple Ave in West Virginia. His attorneys claim that it was Miss Goose who started that ridiculous rumor after unsuccessfully trying to seduce Mr. Eater with her voluptuous and silky feathers. When asked to comment, Mr. Eater was recorded as saying, "They were a bit saggy and disappointing. She is just an angry vindictive hen." As for why he goes by Peter twice, nobody really knows but it is rumored that Peter was the name of his first two pumpkin victims.

And his worthy opponent...

Cavity Sam, aka "that operation guy",  is simply lucky, or unlucky, to be alive. Ronald Mitchel, his birth name, was sold by his parents at the tender age of 8 to Dr. Milton Bradley for $2.50 during the great depression. Dr. Bradley soon discovered that Ronald had a gift of being able to remove his organs and replace them without dying. On Christmas eve during one of his experiments, Baxter the dog ate Ronald's nose and devoured it while it was lying on the operation table requiring Dr. Bradley to replace it with a red christmas bulb. Ronald learned of Dr. Bradley's plan to create a children's game using him. Demoralized and depressed at the thought of having thousands of children laughing as they removed his body parts, Ronald attempted suicide by electric shock. Unfortunately this only added to his lure by causing him to light up and buzz any time his skin was touched with the forceps. Ronald just hopes that winning this contest can bring him some peace.


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