Saturday, May 23, 2009

Sunny Side Up and the Greasy Side Down

Road trips are a funny thing. At the same time that you are miserably sitting in the same seat for hours on end, you can't help but have fond feelings and memories. That's because you transport out of the Real World Zone of life and enter into Road Trip Zone, where you've got the simple necessitites of life laid out in front of you. Like road names. Because when you drive for 27 hours you must entertain yourself. Road names are necessary.

Meet Greasy Axle...


and Squeeky Wheel...
The three of us experienced the pains and beauties of a 27-hour drive from the green fields of Iowa to the purple skies of Arizona (because the sunset was purple upon our arrival). Some pains and beauties that I will remember...

  • Having to reposition my body every ten minutes or so. Feet on dash. Feet on floor. Feet sitting criss cross. And repeat a million times.

  • Switching vehicles at every stop from the Penske to the Jeep so as to share my co-piloting talent. Neither Dad or Jason would let me drive.

  • Losing twice to Jason in the alphabet game because he is always a split-second ahead of me at spotting those letters.

  • Starting an alphabet game in Kansas and having it last through almost the entire state because there isn't squat in Kansas. Give us some signs to work with people.

  • Gas stations make me feel dirty. I don't care if I haven't touched anything. If I walk into a gas station, I walk out feeling like I need a shower.

  • Looking up truck driver lingo on our phones to be able to use phrases and words like "sunny side up and greasy side down," "handle," "go easy on the ponies,""ease off the hammer," and "alligators all over the blacktop." Alligators are tire shreds. And truck drivers are clever.

  • Singing at the top of my lungs for about an hour stretch because every single song that played on that ipod might have been the best song I ever heard. I was on top of the world and the longer I sang, the better my voice was sounding.

  • Dad was a kid in a candy store as he loaded his basket full of all sorts of firecrackers in Grants, New Mexico.

  • Gas station food. Need I say more. Jason returned to the truck with a 3-foot long piece of Arizona Jack's Super Giga Peppered Jerky that was paper thin and tasted like cardboard. You better believe we ate all of it.
  • Reaching forward quick all the way to the windshield to try and be the first one in the new state as you cross a state line.
  • Looking up logic riddles on my phone to try and stump Jason. "The music stops. A woman dies. Why?" Well because she was a blindfolded tightrope walker who thought she was at the end of the rope when the music stopped and she lost her balance and fell. Of course. Jason said, "Stupid." after each one.
  • Missing my sweet songbird Drew who wasn't there to sing when "Delilah" played. But not missing her because the trip would have did her in after the first hour.
  • Best feeling of the trip- reaching our final destination.


  1. More like "Stinky Pete" for Jason


  2. Glad you got there safe Squeaky Wheel.

  3. I spelt squeeky wrong. I'm a nerd.

  4. Lol, I love the names made up. And can I say that I'm impressed with Jason's ability to get those riddles so quickly! We used to do those in elementary and I would seriously go CRAZY trying to figure them out! I'm so excited that you are in Arizona safe and sound, and that I'll be able to see you more often, you already feel closer. I miss you friend.

  5. Welcome back to AZ!! Can't wait to see pictures of your house!

  6. Now, that IS quite a different story than our cross-country-with-3-kids trip. I can't believe they didn't let you drive.

    Men. ;)